Ok ladies, we know that our men HATE Valentine’s Day, not just a little but with a passion. The animosity they have for it is naturally in their blood. We have to admit this, just like they think that father’s day is the same as mother’s day. (Because they carried them around for 9 months popped out 10 pound babies… riiiight) There are men that are in the minority that say they don’t mind, or actually like it, but it’s hardly believable. Every year, we’ve planned for our husbands, spent hours on being a seductive beauty, bought hundreds of dollars worth of lingerie just for them to come off and never be worn again, and cook scrumptious meals that they fart out later, then watch tv for the rest of the night all for chocolates and flowers that die. Oh such a sign of love is something that is cut and dies 3 days later. Receiving roses and gorgeous flowers is something that should be happening throughout the year a gesture of chivalry and appreciation. What I want this Valentine’s Day, is something that lasts and something I can use and enjoy, but still have it be a romantic gesture. So I’ve made a list that entails perfumes, luxurious bath products, a pink Clarisonic skin care brush (no time for facials), my beloved Mason Pearson hair brush, and several other beauty products that I always feel guilty for buying. I’ve already set my ultimate gift-getting Valentine’s plan into place, but lucky for you, I’ll give you my step by step guide to getting what you want.

Source: Flickr User Molly Darling

Step 1: Prepare in advance. About two weeks before V-Day, start being extremely nice to your man and surprise him with random acts of kindness. Remind him why he loves you and fell in love with you. Whisper sweet nothings into his ear, seduce, cook, clean and be that trophy wife for him that he’s proud to parade around. Of course, we all know the fact is that men have short term memories which last about 1-2 weeks. If you’re unusually nice to him two weeks before V-Day, he’ll be persuaded into believing that you’re this awesome all the time (and hopefully forget about that one night rendezvous with his brother). Therefore, you’ll get better gifts on V-Day and won’t mind spending the money on his perfect honey.

Step 2: One week before V-Day, cease this barrage of kindness and pretend to be disinterested. Let the lost puppy chase his owner. This way you can guilt him, or in the least instill fear in him and really put him on his heels. He’ll be thinking: “what happened? What did I do? Did she forget about how much she loves me?” And really, if fear has gotten us into two wars, it can at least get us a bit more than flowers and candy, am I right ladies? At this time, it’s a great time to put up your list of gifts where he can see them, as “suggestions”. You can even have the kids help out with this one and send over an email to your hubby of a “this is what mommy wants”.

** This step is tricky because you have to be careful not to let him know your game. As soon as he realizes he’s being manipulated, he’ll no longer be guilted into buying gifts; and guilt it the key to getting what you want!**

Step 3: Establish competition. Take some time to do your makeup, hair and put on that certain item of clothing that you know makes him go bananas. Men thrive off of competition.  If you sneakily insert a fable (or a true story) about how some other lover gave you the best Valentine’s Day ever, he’ll be sure to try to out-do his competition.  But once again, subtlety is extremely important you don’t want to over-do it.

The last step of your grand scheme is almost a repeat of step one. Start planning for next year.  Guys don’t really remember details, they remember GRAND gestures. The key here is to overreact and thank him excessively for such a wonderful V-day, when you get your Jane Iredale ChocohoLICKS lip gloss set and your Vera Wang Eau De Parfum. In turn he feels gratified and accomplished as a man, and remember that specific feeling of greatness for next year.

Don’t feel bad, you’re actually doing him a favor through all of this. Men don’t realize the importance of having an effective hair dryer and other essential makeup and skin care products. If they did, they’d realize that we’d be able to get ready in half the time that we normally do and they’d have no hesitation on buying them. So don’t feel guilty about a little “influencing” to get what you want, you’re only saving him serious money spent on roses and unnecessary weight from candy.

There you have it ladies, the only surprise that my lovely husband should be getting after all is how much I’ve spent on his black American Express card. Just don’t forget that after you get your wish list, thank him and love him dearly, as he is your other half. According to Maslow, men are easy; he’ll want sex, food, and some stroking to his ego, plus, a happy wife = a happy life. Stick to those principles and you have a happy man.

Love,

The Maniacal Housewife

Tags: beauty, beauty products, Makeup

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 11th, 2010 at 10:45 am and is filed under Makeup, Skincare. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.