Most women will say that the most important beauty tool they own is their mascara, their shampoo, their blush, or something tangible like that, but I’m here to tell you that these are all wrong! Social networking is taking over the world and EVERYONE is facebooking and you can use that to your advantage. Let me establish what I’m getting at with a common scenario: You meet a guy at a bar. You have great conversation, he makes you laugh, you think he’s cute…bla bla bla…anywho, much to your disappointment, he doesn’t ask for your number at the end of the night. You go home defeated and sad, you go to sleep alone. The next morning you wake up, and much to your delight, he’s asked you to be his friend on Facebook! At this point, you know he’s interested, and you expect him to ask on a date sometime in the near future, but for some reason, he never calls you or asks you out ever again. What happened?!? Well, there’s a 99% chance that your facebook profile ruined it before you even had a chance to represent yourself in person. Trust me when I say, social media sites ARE your worst enemy. However, me being a professional manipulator ( a title I did not give myself), I see this problem as an opportunity to be had…and upon my own personal social experiment, I found that I was oh so right! Look at it this way, when a police officer reads you your Miranda rights, they say “Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.” Now I’m sure you all have heard this famous statement many times before (you criminals), but if you actually focus on the language, it says nothing about working “FOR” you in a court of law…only AGAINST you. Social networking works the same way, anything you say can and will be used AGAINST you in the court of love never FOR you; so use your right to remain silent and read the following tips to increase your chances of hooking the man you want:
Rule 1: Less is More
If a man is able figure out everything about you just by checking your profile, then you are royally screwed. Oftentimes there’s something, even minor, that can send us running the other way. Maybe you have an obsession with Zach Effron, enjoy dressing your cat in people clothes, or you for some unknown reason love eating your own lipstick, any little thing can send a guy running for the hills. So if it’s not necessary, cut it out of your profile. This pertains to dating status, political views, groups, favorite shows, books ,etc. Remember EVERYTHING is important.
Rule 2: Remove Your Photos
I did this myself, and immediately saw an impact. I’m not really sure what this says about my general attractiveness, but thinking positively, I realized that controlling which photos you share with your friends is incredibly vital to your dating life. As the saying goes, “A photo is worth a thousand words,” and this is oh so true…now what do you think 352 photos say about you? In my opinion, too much! Photos are the easiest way to spot patterns, and patterns are bad. To give you an example I dated a girl who could never seem take a normal photo. She was always looking off camera, looking aloof, or trying to look sexy by doing her best impression of Snookie from the Jersey Shore. After discovering this pattern of hers, I guido fist pumped myself out of that “Situation” pretty quickly. I mean seriously, who wants to date a Kissy-Face Bandit or a No-Smilin’-Nancy? So my advice is to choose the best photos you have and cut out the rest. I easily did this by just blocking everyone from seeing all of my photos except for my profile pictures. Do it, trust me.
Flickr User: Zawezome
Rule 3: Don’t Take Tests
Those retarded little “How well do you know me,” and “What Spice Girl Are You” tests are a BIG turnoff. In fact they oftentimes reveal facts about you that we shouldn’t know. No joke, I lost interest in this girl (who was 25 mind you) who essentially admitted to being a pedophile by answering “Nick Jonas” (who was 16 at the time), to the question “Who is your current celebrity crush?” These tests are a waste of time and INCREDIBLY harmful to your image.
Rule 4: Keep Your Relationship Status Empty
This one is kind of a runoff of Rule 1 but it’s so important that I felt the need to reiterate. Now, I’m not advocating cheating on your lover, but there are a lot of fish in the sea and you might miss out on some nibbles if he sees that you’re currently in a situation that’s “Complicated.” I’m not a fan of those who keep looking around for something better while they’re currently in happy relationships, but this point is really trying to get you to ask yourself “Who really cares?” It’s a question that you should ask yourself before every post because 9 times out of 10, the answer is “No one,” except your mom, who you shouldn’t be friends with in the first place.
Rule 5: Control Your Addiction
Facebook can be highly addictive, and without even knowing it, it can eat up a lot of your time. You have to accept the fact that social media sites are just a way of bragging about yourself to your “friends” without sounding like the self-absorbed snatchdazzle that you really are. If you’re highly active on your own wall with status updates, random photo postings of all the awesome things you do, and deep quotes/song lyrics, it indicates that you’re either really into yourself, or you have nothing better to do other than to play on Facebook…To me it says, “I’m incredibly vapid and actually do nothing of real value with my time.”
Ultimately the entire point of this post is to remind you that it’s the discovery process that keeps us guys chasing after you. Just like everything else, we like what we can’t have and can’t figure out. We love a good Scooby-Do-like mystery when it comes to finding a parter. If all we have to do to solve the case is take a look at your Facebook profile, then we’ll quickly move on. Facebooking, Tweeting, Buzzing, and sharing your life online can be your worst enemy, but if you’re smart it can be your biggest ally in helping your dating life. Less is more ladies…not only with your makeup, but also with your facebook profile. Use it to your advantage. If worst comes to worst, you can always commit social suicide (www.suicidemachine.org).
Tags: beauty tips, dating
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